Finding your space..

I think that finding your space takes experience, it takes times, and it also takes practice. I think this because I’ve finally found my space. Space is just one word that can be used. Other people might say finding yourself, your center, or your lane just to name a few. I think that once you find your space you’ll know it. I think when you find your space you’ll feel it in every part of your being. 

I say finding your space takes experience because we as humans experience something new each day. Our experiences help shape our reality. Our mind has the capacity to delete, distort, and generalize information. Sometimes we as humans perceive something to be something it never was or ever will be. How do you think that plays a roll in finding your space? For a long time I surrounded myself with lower vibrational energies. This is not to say I was better than these individuals. I hung around them because like your grandmother always said “Birds of a feather flock together.” I found this to be true on so many different occasions. I was around them, because I myself vibrated in a lower frequency. I was sad, I was angry, I was jealous, I was confused to say the least, and that is what I attracted. It took some experiences to get to the place I am today. I had to experience tragedy to appreciate triumph. Breathe. My experience was no different than most young black girls in America. I was overlooked and unheard. I was a black widow, spinning a web of ideas that made sense to only me. I could not and would not even trust myself. Until I experienced yoga, I don’t think I ever breathed correctly a day in my adult life. Until I experienced yoga I didn’t know where or how to process my energy, my thoughts, my feels, or pretty much anything. At the age of 19 I was clinically diagnosed with manic depression, and even then I didn’t understand it. In my mind, I wasn’t depressed, that wasn’t for me. In my mind depression didn’t look like me. I couldn’t see the signs, and continued to self medicate. I used drugs and had a lot of sex to cope. Breathe. 

I mentioned finding your space takes time and I’ll explain why. It took time to lose the losers and start sitting with winners. It took time to build a healthy NO! It took time to come into my powers. It took time to make it to my first yoga class. It took time to keep my thoughts right here in the now on this mat. It took time to develop strong character traits. It took time to come into myself, but I made it. It doesn’t matter about how long it took or how long it will take because it’s a lifetime process. Getting into yourself takes time and staying there also takes time. Time will tell. Time will heal. Time will not stop for Me, or you. Time predates us all. You’ll know when it’s time to move forward. You’ll know when it’s time to let go. You’ll know when it’s time to do more, say less, and anything else that you’ve felt unsure about. Time will tell you. It takes time for strong trees to grow. Meditate on that the next time you ask for something and expect microwave results. Breathe.

Finding your space takes practice. You have to practice how to be around people. You have to practice on yourself. My grandmother Josephine always said, “ go in your secret closet..meditate, practice..” You have to practice stillness in order to have a conversation. You have to practice mindfulness, and active listening. Finding your space takes practice. I practice everyday. Each day I give thanks and ask that I continue to grow, evolve, learn, and be a vessel. I found my space and I love it here. 

Becoming a yoga instructor was the best thing that could have happened to me. From physical to emotional from sexual to spiritual. Each and every part of me honors this. I am so thankful for that very first yoga class taught by Maya Meeyogi. That first class I made my way to the floor for Savasana and tears began to pour from my eyes. I was so open. It became my vice, a great one. Yoga makes you look at you and know that you are enough, just as you are. Yoga allows the freedom of forgiveness and acceptance. Yoga allows the unification of the mind, the body, the breath, the oneness. I will say that yoga saved my life. 

It takes practice. Im always in my practice. It does not end on the yoga mat. There are teachings and lessons in Yoga that can be applied to all walks of life. As my good friends in India would say “Everything is yoga my friend!”

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