Every breath was stronger than my last..

Breathtaking. In one word or less that’s what I would chose. My experience in India taught me a lot. First and for most I want to thank my family, my Baba, my friends, and everyone who helped me get to India. I am nothing without you. 

My first day in India was stressful. Stepping off the plane with a dead phone and in a completely different country was stressful. I was blessed to be there with someone I knew. They had been in India for a while prior to my arrival. We met up in Dehli airport and took a taxi 4 hours roughly to Rishikesh, India. 

The ride was an adrenaline rush for sure. First of off, in India they drive on the opposite side. Number 2, what are red lights? Number 3, they believe in using their horns. Its like their own personal driving language haha! I looked out of my window and could see the Ganga River for miles. This was my first real moment that let me know yes, you’ve arrived. Next, there were monkeys everywhere! Oh my goodness they are so stinking cute, until they steal your lunch! I had never seen wild monkeys. This was everything to me. There were people collecting cow poop and making circle shapes. I later learned that this is sacred in the Hindu culture. I learned that the cow dong is used in fire ceremonies, and other uses. I could smell so many new smells. There were also horses everywhere. The horses weren’t as wild as the monkeys. Most of them seemed to be working horses. They were covered in bells and beautiful fabric. They were big and beautiful. My heart melted. 

We arrived and I was thrilled to be there. Over all my school was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. My instructors were always so helpful and willing to go the extra mile to make sure you understood the knowledge. There was an incident that we won’t speak about in detail, but the teacher was immediately terminated. This made me feel safe and heard. The food was amazing. The school was always being cleaned. There was someone who was available for us at all times. The property had surveillance cameras and this made me feel safe. Over all I couldn’t have asked for a better group of teachers to guide me. I will always cherish them. Each of them hold special places in my heart.

After school ended and the lowdown got tricky, I decided it was best that I leave the school. Yes, I left and was on my own all the way across the water. I saw and experienced a lot of things during that alone time. I met a lot of people. Drank a lot of tea. I learned a lot. I shared value moments with people from all walks of life. We shared a mutual appreciation for love. That energy that we all have access to. 

Ill talk a little more about India at a later date. Just wanted to share a little with you all. Thank you for joining. 

What’s Inside Comes Out..

Welcome back. I am happy to share with you as best as I know how. I’d like to give credit to a very special human who in fact taught me the valuable word projection. Projection is a display of something in some form. You can project your voice across the room, or you can project your unhealed or unprocessed trauma onto another person. Today I want to speak on the latter. Have you ever heard the phrase “hurt people hurt people”? Well I can prove how that statement holds value. Pain can be measured in many ways. Some people have a very high tolerance for it. I am one of them both physically and mentally. It takes a little bit more to penetrate my aura, although it can be done. I am not immune or above the experience of pain.

Our everyday life experiences shape us. We can either learn and grow, or repeat the cycle. We can either take what we call lemons and make lemonade or we can do nothing. We are absolutely in control of our emotions but it takes practice and discipline to do so. Take your experience in life. To be born with food and clean water. To be born into a family situation of some sort with loving energy. Put yourself on the opposite end. You can’t right? You can’t imagine being born having to beg on the streets for money, food, and shelter. I spent some time in India and a small village girl by the name of Depali showed me this lesson, along with many others.

We as a people have to normalize open communication and liberated dialogue. We as a people need to deal with our trauma because if not we project our insecurities, or fear, or distorted views of reality onto other people. We walk around with mask, both literally and worldly. We hide behind our desk jobs, we hide behind our status, we hide behind money, we hide behind whatever we can hold onto for shelter. We are not dealing with the things that we should deal with instead we are deflecting and finding fault in other people. Hurt people hurt people because they don’t even realize they are hurt. Find out what happen. Take some alone time. Assess the situation, what do you feel? What happened? What did you learn? How can you grow? What was the lesson? When you take time to work through these things you don’t repeat the cycle.

People get into abusive relationships and leave the person just to find themselves right in another situation if they don’t take time to heal. Abuse isn’t just physical it is also mental, verbal, sexual, and even spiritual. I can speak from experience. I’ve hurt people. I was hurting and hadn’t realized that I was projecting my nastiness on to them. It was never them, it was me because I had not stopped long enough to learn me. I needed to learn my breath. I was running away from myself, yet running in place. Once you deal with your shit you will see that there is no room to judge or point any fingers at anyone. Once you deal with your inner issues you won’t find the need to control another human. This is not love. That is control. Love is free. It’s a choice. We chose to live and that is how we are still here today. I thank you.

Racism is taught. Five totally different babies were placed in a room to play with each other. None of them refused. They all played and loved each other like there were no differences. These are things that we project. We project hatred. We can also project positivity. Take time to learn yourself. Sit with your thoughts. Write them down. Pray or meditate. Sit in stillness, clean up whatever residues you may have collected throughout this life.

May grace continue to be with you.