Finding your space..

I think that finding your space takes experience, it takes times, and it also takes practice. I think this because I’ve finally found my space. Space is just one word that can be used. Other people might say finding yourself, your center, or your lane just to name a few. I think that once you find your space you’ll know it. I think when you find your space you’ll feel it in every part of your being. 

I say finding your space takes experience because we as humans experience something new each day. Our experiences help shape our reality. Our mind has the capacity to delete, distort, and generalize information. Sometimes we as humans perceive something to be something it never was or ever will be. How do you think that plays a roll in finding your space? For a long time I surrounded myself with lower vibrational energies. This is not to say I was better than these individuals. I hung around them because like your grandmother always said “Birds of a feather flock together.” I found this to be true on so many different occasions. I was around them, because I myself vibrated in a lower frequency. I was sad, I was angry, I was jealous, I was confused to say the least, and that is what I attracted. It took some experiences to get to the place I am today. I had to experience tragedy to appreciate triumph. Breathe. My experience was no different than most young black girls in America. I was overlooked and unheard. I was a black widow, spinning a web of ideas that made sense to only me. I could not and would not even trust myself. Until I experienced yoga, I don’t think I ever breathed correctly a day in my adult life. Until I experienced yoga I didn’t know where or how to process my energy, my thoughts, my feels, or pretty much anything. At the age of 19 I was clinically diagnosed with manic depression, and even then I didn’t understand it. In my mind, I wasn’t depressed, that wasn’t for me. In my mind depression didn’t look like me. I couldn’t see the signs, and continued to self medicate. I used drugs and had a lot of sex to cope. Breathe. 

I mentioned finding your space takes time and I’ll explain why. It took time to lose the losers and start sitting with winners. It took time to build a healthy NO! It took time to come into my powers. It took time to make it to my first yoga class. It took time to keep my thoughts right here in the now on this mat. It took time to develop strong character traits. It took time to come into myself, but I made it. It doesn’t matter about how long it took or how long it will take because it’s a lifetime process. Getting into yourself takes time and staying there also takes time. Time will tell. Time will heal. Time will not stop for Me, or you. Time predates us all. You’ll know when it’s time to move forward. You’ll know when it’s time to let go. You’ll know when it’s time to do more, say less, and anything else that you’ve felt unsure about. Time will tell you. It takes time for strong trees to grow. Meditate on that the next time you ask for something and expect microwave results. Breathe.

Finding your space takes practice. You have to practice how to be around people. You have to practice on yourself. My grandmother Josephine always said, “ go in your secret closet..meditate, practice..” You have to practice stillness in order to have a conversation. You have to practice mindfulness, and active listening. Finding your space takes practice. I practice everyday. Each day I give thanks and ask that I continue to grow, evolve, learn, and be a vessel. I found my space and I love it here. 

Becoming a yoga instructor was the best thing that could have happened to me. From physical to emotional from sexual to spiritual. Each and every part of me honors this. I am so thankful for that very first yoga class taught by Maya Meeyogi. That first class I made my way to the floor for Savasana and tears began to pour from my eyes. I was so open. It became my vice, a great one. Yoga makes you look at you and know that you are enough, just as you are. Yoga allows the freedom of forgiveness and acceptance. Yoga allows the unification of the mind, the body, the breath, the oneness. I will say that yoga saved my life. 

It takes practice. Im always in my practice. It does not end on the yoga mat. There are teachings and lessons in Yoga that can be applied to all walks of life. As my good friends in India would say “Everything is yoga my friend!”

Every breath was stronger than my last..

Breathtaking. In one word or less that’s what I would chose. My experience in India taught me a lot. First and for most I want to thank my family, my Baba, my friends, and everyone who helped me get to India. I am nothing without you. 

My first day in India was stressful. Stepping off the plane with a dead phone and in a completely different country was stressful. I was blessed to be there with someone I knew. They had been in India for a while prior to my arrival. We met up in Dehli airport and took a taxi 4 hours roughly to Rishikesh, India. 

The ride was an adrenaline rush for sure. First of off, in India they drive on the opposite side. Number 2, what are red lights? Number 3, they believe in using their horns. Its like their own personal driving language haha! I looked out of my window and could see the Ganga River for miles. This was my first real moment that let me know yes, you’ve arrived. Next, there were monkeys everywhere! Oh my goodness they are so stinking cute, until they steal your lunch! I had never seen wild monkeys. This was everything to me. There were people collecting cow poop and making circle shapes. I later learned that this is sacred in the Hindu culture. I learned that the cow dong is used in fire ceremonies, and other uses. I could smell so many new smells. There were also horses everywhere. The horses weren’t as wild as the monkeys. Most of them seemed to be working horses. They were covered in bells and beautiful fabric. They were big and beautiful. My heart melted. 

We arrived and I was thrilled to be there. Over all my school was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. My instructors were always so helpful and willing to go the extra mile to make sure you understood the knowledge. There was an incident that we won’t speak about in detail, but the teacher was immediately terminated. This made me feel safe and heard. The food was amazing. The school was always being cleaned. There was someone who was available for us at all times. The property had surveillance cameras and this made me feel safe. Over all I couldn’t have asked for a better group of teachers to guide me. I will always cherish them. Each of them hold special places in my heart.

After school ended and the lowdown got tricky, I decided it was best that I leave the school. Yes, I left and was on my own all the way across the water. I saw and experienced a lot of things during that alone time. I met a lot of people. Drank a lot of tea. I learned a lot. I shared value moments with people from all walks of life. We shared a mutual appreciation for love. That energy that we all have access to. 

Ill talk a little more about India at a later date. Just wanted to share a little with you all. Thank you for joining.